Not So Magic Mirror on the Wall

There are days when I look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person staring back. It’s a mix of insecurity, doubt, and fear that clouds the reflection of who I am now compared to who I was. It’s not just about how I look; it’s about what I see in my heart, in my past, and in the story that has shaped me. I’ve spent years wrestling with who I’ve been, and even more with who I want to be.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to face is putting myself out there and sharing parts of my story. Opening up in a way that makes me vulnerable to judgment from people who may have known me when I was someone else entirely. The people from high school, those from my early twenties—those who only saw one version of me, the version I wish I could forget. The version that made mistakes, the version that felt lost and wasn’t sure who she was, let alone who she was supposed to be.

Now, as I share my story with the world, I wonder if they’ll remember me for the person I was or the person I’ve become. Will they judge my words? Will they roll their eyes or think, “Who does she think she is?” It’s easy to hide from those people—especially at places like the grocery store, where there’s a chance I might run into someone who knew me back then. It’s tempting to shrink back, to avoid those who might see me and think that the woman I am now doesn’t fit with the person they once knew.

But here’s the thing: I’m not doing this for them. I’m doing this for the women who feel just like I once did—lost, searching for purpose, for belonging, for something that makes sense of all the broken pieces of their lives. I want them to know they’re not alone in their search to find themselves. I want them to know that the journey to truly finding who you are doesn’t come through self-discovery alone—it begins with surrender to Christ.

When I started to surrender my insecurities, my past, my flaws, and my fears to God, that’s when everything began to change. I realized that my story wasn’t meant to be hidden away in shame. It was meant to be shared, not for my own glory, but to show others that God can take the messiest parts of our lives and turn them into something beautiful. I may not have the perfect words or the perfect image, but I do have a testimony of how God has worked in me, and that’s enough.

There are days when I still struggle with insecurities, but I remind myself that the woman I see in the mirror today is not defined by my past. She’s defined by God’s grace, His love, and His purpose for my life. If my story can help even one person feel less alone, if it can show someone the way back to their Savior, then all the vulnerability, all the fear, and all the insecurities are worth it.

To the women who are struggling to see themselves clearly—know this: You are not alone. You are worthy. And the search for yourself truly begins when you surrender to Christ. When you let go of the need to fit into a mold of someone else’s expectations, and embrace the beautiful, unique person God created you to be.

Don’t let the mirror or the opinions of others dictate who you are. You are more than your past mistakes, your insecurities, or the judgments of people who don’t understand your journey. You are a beloved child of God, and that’s all that matters.