Stop Praying for That! (Hear Me Out)

I’m about to say something that may get me into trouble. Something that may make a few church ladies clutch their pearls, especially here in the South where “church attendance” is practically listed as a commandment right after “Thou shalt not eat cornbread without butter.” But before you gather the pitchforks and call the pastor (actually he might need to hear this too), hear me out. I’m not saying church isn’t important. It’s huge. Worshipping with other believers is critical. But let’s stop praying just for our loved ones to “get back in church.” It’s a well-meaning prayer, but is that really the goal? Or are we missing the bigger picture?

Let’s be honest. When we pray that prayer, what we’re really saying is, “I want them saved and their life dramatically transformed” And let me tell you something—God doesn’t need four walls and a steeple to do that. Here’s the issue—praying for them to sit in a pew is aiming too low. God doesn’t need them to walk into a building to do His work. You think He’s waiting for them to show up at church so He can move in their lives? God’s out here meeting people in the wild—yes, I mean literally anywhere. Case in point: me.

I’ve been in church my whole life. Okay, maybe there were a few rebellious years where I tried the “I’m too cool for Sunday morning” routine, but for the most part, church was my jam, my safe place, and my comfort. Here’s the kicker—it wasn’t in the church pews where God saved me. Nope. He met me in my car.

Yep. Picture it. I had just left a friend’s house where she prayed over me, driving down the road, having a real talk with God. It wasn’t in a church, with an altar call, and no pastor guiding me through. Just me and the Lord. I wasn’t in a holy place; I was just in my car, which at the time probably didn’t even smell great, if I’m being honest, I more than likely had a cigarette in my left hand or hanging out of my mouth. And yet, that’s where God chose to meet me. It reminds me of Psalm 139:7-10, where David says, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? … If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me.” God will meet us anywhere—there’s no place He can’t reach.

I can hear it now: “But Ashley, church is where they need to be!” And I agree—it’s important. But we’ve gotten so fixated on the idea that salvation has to happen in a church that we forget something pretty crucial: God’s sovereignty. He can reach people anywhere. The church is awesome, but God is not bound by its doors.

Here in the South, we’ve built a culture where we expect the church to do all the heavy lifting. Got a rebellious kid? “Well, just get them in church!” Having a tough time? “You just need to be in the building.” We’ve made the church the goal when really, it’s about Jesus—about knowing Him, loving Him, and being transformed by Him. The church is part of the process, sure, but it’s not the only way God moves.

So instead of praying solely for our kids and loved ones to get their rear ends in a pew, maybe we need to pray for God to meet them right where they are. In the car. At work. In the middle of the grocery store, for heaven’s sake. God is not limited.

I get it. I really do. It feels safer to think, “If they’re in church, then they’re on the right track.” But the truth is, people can sit in church every week and still not know Jesus. Trust me—I’ve been there. What they need isn’t just a routine. They need a radical encounter with the living God. That might happen in a sanctuary. Or it might happen in a Taco Bell drive-thru. Who knows?

The bottom line? Stop placing expectations on the church that should be placed on God. Keep praying for your loved ones. But don’t limit God to one specific prayer or place. Pray for them to know Him, however and wherever that happens. Only HE knows how to best get their attention. God is on the move, and He’s not waiting for anyone to punch their Sunday morning time card.