True Connection

Have you ever felt like you were trying way too hard to make someone value your friendship? Maybe you’ve bent over backward to be there for them, but the effort never seemed to be mutual. Or perhaps they only reached out when it benefited them, leaving you wondering if they saw you as more than just a convenience. I’ve been there too, and I want to remind you of this truth: you don’t have to force a connection.

It’s hard when you realize someone values you for what you can offer them rather than for who you are. I’ve seen it, and it hurts—especially when it happens in spaces that should feel safe, like the church. It’s disheartening when people choose friends based on status or influence instead of authenticity and genuine love. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: if someone doesn’t see your worth, that’s their loss—not yours.

Forcing a connection isn’t just draining; it diminishes who you are. You end up sacrificing pieces of yourself to fit into someone else’s story, dimming your light to meet their expectations. And the truth is, you are already worthy—just as you are. When you try to force a connection, you often end up chasing approval from someone who will never give you the respect and love you deserve. The better question to ask isn’t “Why am I not enough?” but “Why am I staying in a place where I’m not celebrated?”

What makes this even harder is when you see this happening in church—among people who should know better. Church is supposed to be a place of belonging, a place where everyone is valued equally as children of God. But unfortunately, even in these spaces, cliques form, and people can gravitate toward those who bring visibility or status.

Jesus didn’t seek out the influential or powerful; He chose the unassuming, the humble, the outcasts. And as His followers, we’re called to reflect that same love, not seeking friendships for our own gain but investing in relationships that honor God and uplift each other.

There’s so much beauty in being the unassuming friend—the one who doesn’t need the spotlight but shows up with loyalty and kindness. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. The right people will see it. Trust me, the people who truly see your heart and value your friendship won’t require convincing.

If someone doesn’t appreciate you, it’s okay to walk away. Don’t waste your time trying to convince them of your value. Jesus didn’t beg anyone to follow Him; He extended the invitation and let people choose for themselves. You can do the same.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” God designed friendships to be mutually enriching, not one-sided. Trust Him to bring the right people into your life—those who see your worth, appreciate your heart, and will walk alongside you in faith and love. And when you feel overlooked or rejected, bring it to God. He knows exactly what you’re going through and will always provide friendships that reflect His love.